The Five Circles of Love

First, love yourself:

   To find love and happiness elsewhere in the world, you must be at peace with who you are.  Do not reject yourself or withhold self-acceptance because of perceived imperfections.  Accept yourself as you are, and out of love and respect for yourself you may seek improvement.  See yourself as worthy of love, because you are.

Second, love your family:

   Accept the mortal nature of your family, by blood or choice.  They, as you, are prone to mistakes and faults.  They, as you, are worthy of love.  Respect them as yourself.  This extends to your parents, elder or younger relatives, friends, as well as your partner.  Help them to grow as individuals, while remembering their individuality: they must walk their own path in life.  Accept imperfections as what makes them unique, and forgive their mistakes and faults made in error.

Third, love your neighbor:

   The people around you have their own trials and troubles which they endure, just as you.  They come from different backgrounds, different families, and bear different perspectives by default.  Their impact on your life may be great or small, and likewise may you impact their lives.  Accept their mortal nature, and recognize that their path in life is no less important or valid than your own, despite any differences.  Offer them the same compassionate acceptance and respect that you would wish for them to show you.  That which is objectionable to you, do not impose upon them.  See them as equals, because they are.

Fourth, love your enemy:

   Just as your neighbor, your enemy has had their own experiences, and their path in life has lead them to a place in opposition to your own.  This does not make their path invalid, for we are all products of our past.  You have not endured their history, as they have not endured yours.  Recognize that pain inflicted is often pain felt, and thus may you understand their sorrow and suffering.  Offer them compassion as you would to a neighbor.  Do not pursue aggression or conflict, but do not suffer it when it is offered to you: to defend what you love is itself an act of love.  Do not rejoice in their defeat, but grieve that the conflict became necessary.

Fifth, love the world:

   Every being in the world is a product of past experience.  We each have our own path to walk and, while paths which respect the happiness of others are ideal, no path is less valid than another.  Love the world as you love yourself: accept what you cannot change, and seek improvement out of compassion, not hatred.  Recognize that you are part of the world, as all are, and are therefore connected to all regardless of distance or other barriers.  Recognize that through service to others you serve yourself, as well as those you love.  Feel the joys and pains of the world as your own, because they are.

When in doubt, return to the center.

Have a Blessed Merry Happyday.

There is a paragraph making its rounds on Facebook walls lately, putting the lie to the right-wing panic over a supposed "war on Christmas."  I don't know who wrote it, but I think I would like whoever it is.  It goes like this:


"To those who know me:
I have friends from all walks of life. Muslim, Christian, Pagan, Native American, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist, Taoist, and so on and so on. I don't care what religion you are. If you wish me a Merry Christmas, I will wish you one right back, heartfelt and true. If you wish me a Blessed Yule, I will say it right back and mean it. I refuse to get upset over HOW you wish me a happy season. The fact that you took the time to wish me joy is all that matters to me. Love and joy and laughter and companionship and friendship is what's important. Love one another as you would love yourself. Do as you will, but harm none."


You see, it isn't the words, but the message.  So often it seems that the true message and meaning behind words are lost and ignored simply because of the words themselves being unfamiliar, or even disliked.  Quite frankly, there has been a widespread and very non-compassionate response to the phrase Happy Holidays.  Even when it is grammatically correct, because the person is using it to indicate Thanksgiving and New Years Eve as well.  Even when it is culturally sensitive, and is being used so as not to make non-Christians feel left out of what is supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year."


Despite not being recognized as our nation's "official" religion, Christianity has dominated American thought and practice for quite some time.  Just like many in the past denied Native American or German blood due to concerns of hatred or discrimination, many also hid (and still hide) their religion due to similar concerns.  Despite discrimination due to religious beliefs being illegal, there are still businesses that ask what church you go to on their job applications.


The real problem isn't that there is a war on Christmas.  If anything, there is a war on every other non-Christian holiday that occurs at this time of year.  Yet Christianity has held such a strong role in our society for so very long that any attempt at cultural sensitivity is seen as an attack on that Christian base, that dominating structure, rather than as an attempt to simply recognize the plurality of religion.  


Yet Santa is not a Christianity-specific figure.  Christmas trees have nothing to do with the story of the birth of Jesus.  The rampant commercialism of the season certainly would not have appealed to Christ.  Whether or not you believe Jesus was actually born in December, or whether the Church simply assigned that date to coincide with other non-Christian holidays as a method of conversion, most of the trappings which come with an American Christmas are decidedly non-Christian.  Christmas, as a part of American culture, is beyond Christianity.


If Love is the reason for the season, then why does it matter what words are used so long as the message is the same?  It isn't being distorted.  There isn't a different message being hidden by the words.  Someone, possibly someone you may never see again and do not know, decided to take a moment out of their day to share a sentiment of joy.


Ignore the second word of the statement, if it helps.  Someone wished you a Happy.  Or maybe a Merry, a Blessed, or even just a Good.  The sentiment is positive.  What you take away from the exchange is up to you.

Love Is God

I do not identify myself as Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, or Wiccan.  I do not consider myself a Taoist, Pagan, Buddhist, or part of any other widely recognized religion.  That said, I do share many of their beliefs.  I believe in a higher power, because I cannot look at all the beauty inherent in and beyond our world and think that it came about purely by mathematical chance.  I believe that we are all connected in a basic, primal, and Divine way.  I believe in the power of the mind to influence change in the world, whether this practice is explained as magic, prayer, or exploiting quantum physics.  I believe that we are capable of ascending to a higher form of existence, and also capable of returning again to physical bodies either by choice or because we have not learned all that we needed to learn.


Mostly, however, I believe in Love.  Not in a 60's, lust-driven "free love" sense.  I believe in the message of love delivered by Jesus, Muhammad, and other wise people of the past, that "Golden Rule" of so many faiths that we must love others as we love ourselves.  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  "That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow."  I also believe that Love itself is a higher power, and is our direct connection to Divinity.  In the words of Victor Hugo, "To love another person is to see the face of God." Through Love all things are possible.


Love takes many forms in our lives, but for the most part I have found that there are two major subcategories of Love : Affectionate and Compassionate.


Affectionate Love encompasses familial love, friendship, and romantic love, while Compassionate Love encompasses forgiveness, the love of strangers, and even the love of enemies.  Both of these are part of a third, greater type of love, often called Unconditional or Divine Love.  This is love which demands nothing in return.


Most often we give love out of a desire or need to receive it.  Even Compassionate Love, which includes charity, can be tainted with selfishness.  It makes you feel good about yourself to be charitable towards others, and so you gain a benefit.  Perhaps the closest thing in this world to Divine Love is the love between a mother and her child, as mothers in particular often endure a great deal of punishment without commensurate reward or compensation.


The problem with Love is that it lacks that certain intimidating authority.  The thought of an all-powerful, possibly wrathful deity is a bit more motivating for those types of people who cannot see the inherent benefits to a compassionate global society.  Those who are blinded by base desires do not consider how their actions affect others, but see only themselves.  The thought of eternal torment, then, is seen as something which affects them personally.


But all of this is simply symbolism and metaphor.  Those of us who recognize the inherent value and goodness of Love, and understand the Divine connection shared by every being, are going to behave compassionately for Love's sake.  They will continue to act this way, and attempt to correct any errant behavior, because they understand that to act without compassion harms not just one person, but all of society, including themselves.  In Matthew 25:40, where it says, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me," this is the message being conveyed.